About

I took up the task of creating this site as a sort of thereputic. Some of my fellow travelers suggested that pouring out my thought in a blog might save them from having to listen to me pour out said thoughts in person. I imagine that I may be more tedious to listen to at length than I first believed. In any case, I feel that this will be enjoyable, at least in the short term, and only time will tell what the future will hold. An so, on to business.

I felt the courage to expand my religious thinking only around the beginning of 2019. For most of my young life, I had been surrounded by strong influences to which any thought of gazing down the path toward paganism would have been anathema. I won’t bore the you, the fair reader, with the sorted details of the series of happenings and events which lead me to a soul shattering crisis of faith. I have a “Musings” section, and I am sure that I will fill it with any number of tales like that. Most likely, I will run longer here than I intended as well. I did mention that was a quirk of mine, didn’t I?

Once I felt comfortable beginning to ask the “hard questions” about life and spirituality, I indulged in questioning many different organized and disorganized religious and spiritual beliefs. I tried to take as objective a look at the major religions of the world, and some of the more minor ones as well, as I was able to and never felt that any of them “called out to me”.

I asked myself why. Spirituality, unlike science, has to be felt with the heart instead of reasoned with the head. This left me at a distinct disadvantage when seeking the path to walk which was right for me. Why the disadvantage? you may ask. I am not really a “Feel” personality, so belief in something I can’t prove is difficult to say the least. I did “feel” however that some part of myself was always seeking “something”. I knew also that being an atheist would never be comforting to me. I wanted to believe in something but just wasn’t sure what.

Thomas Aquinas, one of the great Christian philosophers, said that you can come to know the divine through reason. Thinking is a strong point of mine and so I attempted to reason out my problem with spirituality.

Before I continue, let me say that a person’s relationship with divine things is an experience unique to that person. I would never presume that my experiences and those of anyone else would coincide but this is the path I walked and for the sake of my “About” section I share it with the gentle reader.

A passage that I found in the Christian Bible led me to ask myself if perhaps the reason I felt so alienated from Abrahamic religions was that I was not Middle Eastern by genetic descent. I know that this might cause a stir with some who may read these lines. I am well aware that some writers and bloggers that I have read in my searching, and respect the opinions of, feel strongly that who your ancestors were should have no impact on what you believe. While I defend their right to their opinions, for me personally it became a signpost on my way to a path that I was comfortable walking.

A book on witchcraft I read, by an author which I will list in my “Readings” section of the “Book of Shadows“, suggested that a possible reason the divine exists in so many forms, to so many different peoples, is that divine energies are given form in our consciousness by the souls of those who seek them and identify with them. Simply put a sort of “our gods and goddesses are like us” way of thinking. For instance Christianity teaches that mankind is made in the Christian gods image, metaphorically at least “we are like our god and our god is like us”. A divine universal source takes the form which is best understood and accepted by those seekers. The culture, history and society from which we descend can make certain god forms more easily accepted in our understanding.

I think that paganism feels true in this context because the Gods and Goddesses in pagan belief are not all encompassing entities which make up the world we exist in. The Gods and Goddesses we venerate take our side in the battles we face against the harshness of the world. Conversely, in monotheistic belief the one God that is venerated is also the god of your enemies and you are forced into the sort of thinking that you must venerate more deeply or sacrifice more passionately than your opponents in life so that you might be chosen for victory over the enemy before you.

It is becoming increasing evident that I need to write a paper on my opinions on spirituality in the “Musings” section. So to wrap up…

If the divine essence which permeates the spiritual world takes forms we can easily accept for the benefit of our piece of mind and comfort in understanding it/them then perhaps we are genetically and culturally pre-disposed to belief in certain god forms. Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are all religions with their origin in the Middle East. Buddhism has it’s origin in the Far East. So what remains to someone like me? I’m a quite the “mutt” genetically, but all of me is of Wester European descent and so in seeking a culturally familiar spirituality I came to “feel” most comfortable with Celtic Paganism. There is quite a bit more to my decision than that but I am running long in my explanation as I predicted and so I am trying hard to keep to the point, and that is really the essence of it. I “feel” that it is right.

I took a long look at my life. The things that I have endured, the paths that I have traveled, the interests that I have fallen into as my time here on this earth has progressed, and those experiences have led me to The Great Queen, The Phantom Queen, The Triple Goddess of War, Sovereignty, Prophecy and myriad of other concerns. I feel that for as long as I have been here, she has been there, ever at the edge of my sight. Since my beginning she has been watching over me, guarding me, guiding me and I feel a strange pang of guilt that I have never acknowledged her assistance until now. I apologize often when I “feel” her near, and I am thankful that I can “feel” her near at all. I have never been able to understand what it was that I have always sort of known but could never explain. She knows me better than I know myself and the lessons she has taught me have helped me to understand that she doesn’t hold my doubting against me. I wonder if she kicks my behind once in a while to remind me that sometimes this world isn’t the kindest of places and I should remember who it is that walks with me and inspires me with courage to face the worst of this world’s storms with her glorious black wings enfolding me when I need them most.

She is there, and I believe in her and those that share her otherworld. So with this site I hope to honor her, and her fellows and show my devotion and give her thanks with whatever works may be found worthy of the Goddess Morrigan.

~Valdeera